Words are powerful. They can be used for good or bad.
Have you ever heard this saying?
"Sticks and Stones may break my bones.. but words will never hurt me”.
I remember saying it to “mean” kids when I was younger. BUT it is really true? I don’t think so. Words can hurt!
One of the ways that I see words as harmful is when talking about our horses. Here are comments that I have heard SO many times : “This horse is stubborn!” “This horse is dumb—it is not listening to me!” It is often a communication problem. Usually when someone calls a horse stubborn—they themselves have been called stubborn! Or they struggling to listen to others. Horses are especially gifted at calling out people’s “stuff”. Horses are one of the most willing, forgiving animals but just like us—they can get confused and shut down when communication breaks down.
I believe also that when we think or speak negative words like, “That horse is so stubborn!” then we only look for examples of the horse being stubborn. We become too quick to judge and look for mistakes. It is the same with people. If I told you that “Jane” was hyperactive, then you would see her through different lens. Her behavior would be judged on the expectation that she is hyperactive. In psychology terms, it reminds me of “self-fulfilling prophecy”. When I was a classroom teacher, I didn’t want to know diagnoses until I worked with my students for a while. I was afraid I would lean towards making judgements despite my best efforts.
Words have a huge impact on people’s hearts. People, including me, hang onto comments made to us. They can be random, thoughtless comments or direct, hurtful comments. Words leave scars on our minds and our hearts. I had have had people make comments that stay in my head, that have altered my behaviors. It takes work to get those negative thoughts out of your head. For example, when I was a child, I was singing away on a swing set. Someone told me that I couldn’t carry a tune. To this day, I am uncomfortable singing in front of people.
BUT just as hurtful as words can be—they can be JUST as uplifting and healing!
Recently, I have been blessed with the healing, encouraging power of words! While having cancer, I have been bombarded by texts, emails, cards, and verbal encouragement! Often it seemed the right words would come when I was tired or questioning myself. Can you think of examples in your past that show how powerful encouraging words were to you? A little girl that I have known for the past 2 years recently went to camp and wrote ME the sweetest letter! It is something I will treasure!
I challenge myself (and you) to use words for good! The girl who sent me the letter did just that!
One of the things I have vowed to change as a result of cancer is to look for opportunities to encourage others with words, whether written or spoken. I challenge you to the same!
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